Stop installing that software, you may have just died • The Register

On Call Life on the frontlines of tech support can be tough, which is why each Friday The Register brings you a fresh instalment of On Call, our reader-contributed column in which you tell your peers what you’ve endured in the name of work.

This week, meet a reader we’ll Regomize as “Lyle” who told us about the phase of his career in the mid-1990s during which he installed enterprise management software at Air Force bases, then stuck around to drill staff in its use.

When Lyle arrived for one such gig, he was told that the base was participating in wargames during the week, and that judges of this event might be present at various moments. As a civilian, he was assured none of this would impact his work.

As he settled in, Lyle noticed a member of the unit’s engineering corps come in to work on the air conditioning, then leave.

The next day, the aircon engineer returned and was waved through – front desk staff recognized him and didn’t check for ID.

That infraction was observed by a wargames judge who, upset by the lax security, decreed that the facility had just been disabled by a bomb and everyone inside was unable to work … or maybe even out of the game entirely.

Lyle played along – but also pointed out that his hourly rate handily topped three figures. So while he was entirely happy to spend the day being paid to read a book instead of installing software, maybe having him do so was not a great use of the military budget?

High-stakes negotiations with the wargames supervisor eventually saw Lyle miraculously restored to combat readiness after three hours.

As On Call stories often do, this one had on odd epilog: during this job Lyle noticed a very old Sperry-Unisys computer ticking away. He later learned those machines were eventually ripped out of the base … to provide parts for real live air traffic control systems that relied on the same ancient platform and had run out of spares.

What’s the strangest reason you’ve been forced to stop work? Don’t stop now, click here to send On Call your story so we can consider it for a future Friday. ®